Talk Like Shakespeare Day!

In honor of the Bard’s 445th birthday, here are a few suggestions:

Instead of you, say thou. Instead of y’all, say thee.

Rhymed couplets are all the rage.

Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousins.

Instead of cursing, try calling your tormentors jackanapes or canker-blossons or poisonous bunch-back’d toads.

Don’t waste time saying “it,” just use the letter “t” (‘tis, t’will, I’ll do’t).

Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, and songs for clowns.

When in doubt, add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).

To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth, or wherefore.

When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summer’s day. If that fails, say, “Get thee to a nunnery!”

When wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the Tower, banish his friends and claim the throne.

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